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Internationalization: a bit of a bum job

July 31, 2010

I am happy to report that Japan has partially achieved one of it’s goals (which were fundamental in the formation of the JET program) of “Internationalization.”

Perhaps there are many areas where further “Internationalization” could take place, but I found late night Saturday TV has definitely reached a certain caliber of such internationalization as compared to 20 years ago.

When I first reached Japan at the tender age of 15, I remember finding myself inadvertently watching silly late night TV with my father. Neither of us understood much Japanese. Neither of us had any idea what was coming next. Suddenly, the program switched tacks, and became a contest between men to, if I recall correctly (and I may have self defensively suppressed the accurate memory) match women in white, wet t-shirts with some kind of cardboard mounted photo of their actual naked breasts. The discomfort level in the room was only to be matched 3 years later when, at 19, and back in Canada, my father and I, nostalgic for the Japan we had left behind, watched “Tampopo” on CBC late one night, not realizing it was in no way a PG movie. Awkwardness abound when the movie suddenly switched from cooking scenes to “experiments” with food. At least for me.

Tonight, the TV was on in the background, I wasn’t watching but rather futzing around sending emails from my semi-permanent position on the couch since my cough has made a thriving comeback. I looked up to see this:

in which several men stood around an interactive map evaluating the quality of “bottoms” across the world.

I think a side view will help illustrate the “depth” of the study:

Look at the concentration.

There was deep aesthetic evaluation. Shape, tone, size were all evaluated as represented by one perhaps “perfect” sample for each of the “worthy” representations of national bums. There were five representatives: Eastern European bum, African bum, Japanese (Asian) bum and North and South American bum. If your bum doesn’t fit into these categories, sorry, apparently it’s not even worthy of competition.

You may be surprised to find out that N. American bum was voted as most perfect, as its tone, whiteness, and fullness were considered optimal.

Well, glad that’s settled.

I will walk out the door tomorrow morning just a little more proud.

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